did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
