He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
