well I can't set my house on fire every night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
