i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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