I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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