i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
