eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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