Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize