I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
