You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
