Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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