he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
