I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
