You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
