I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
