so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
