i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
