Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
