yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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