Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
