I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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