I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
