Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
