giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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