There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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