whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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