I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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