I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
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we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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