Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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