margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
