Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
