did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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