YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That accounts for only three of the penises
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
