Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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