K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
