I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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