Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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