maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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