She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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