So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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