you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
