They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.