Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.

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  (610): she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break. http://tfl.nu/sziy
  Replies (9) Good night (603) Bad night (1929)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?

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  (541): In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it? http://tfl.nu/ati9
  Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (1353)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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  (203): walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!! http://tfl.nu/de92
  Replies (33) Good night (768) Bad night (5433)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

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  (781): i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough http://tfl.nu/ltrw
  Replies (15) Good night (3636) Bad night (958)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.

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  (253): Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away. http://tfl.nu/2pvy
  Replies (32) Good night (8498) Bad night (861)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now

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  (708): We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now http://tfl.nu/mm02
  Replies (21) Good night (7029) Bad night (920)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.

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  (724): I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that. http://tfl.nu/ze20
  Replies (22) Good night (4041) Bad night (908)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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  (678): I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore http://tfl.nu/ro2x
  Replies (5) Good night (1387) Bad night (904)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably

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  (414): Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably http://tfl.nu/eax2
  Replies (6) Good night (1461) Bad night (2227)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.

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  (715): Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank. http://tfl.nu/5t9g
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (1757)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.

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  (603): He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it. http://tfl.nu/lxzp
  Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (832)
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  (716): View more from New York

  definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.

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  (716): definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush. http://tfl.nu/3ehj
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (493)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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  (414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (310)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.

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  (614): I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/welf
  Replies (8) Good night (653) Bad night (312)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.

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  (304): I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying. http://tfl.nu/hrb6
  Replies (6) Good night (780) Bad night (159)

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