Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching (586): Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please) (586): It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie http://tfl.nu/o2c2
  Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/8ovo
  Replies (37) Good night (795) Bad night (3215)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

  (513): View more from Ohio

  is this your pickup line?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh (513): is this your pickup line? http://tfl.nu/r4ba
  Replies (20) Good night (1006) Bad night (5483)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"? http://tfl.nu/n4zp
  Replies (22) Good night (1456) Bad night (7700)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza. http://tfl.nu/a4a2
  Replies (8) Good night (1126) Bad night (2917)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate? http://tfl.nu/244l
  Replies (18) Good night (2973) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America. http://tfl.nu/8yw3
  Replies (8) Good night (2225) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory. http://tfl.nu/fp19
  Replies (6) Good night (860) Bad night (1910)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose. http://tfl.nu/3zcu
  Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them. http://tfl.nu/odfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets. http://tfl.nu/wd0k
  Replies (11) Good night (1677) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out" http://tfl.nu/3yx5
  Replies (7) Good night (703) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday? http://tfl.nu/m0r9
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum. http://tfl.nu/2wyb
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though http://tfl.nu/2nyf
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (351)

Randomize