I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples