I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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