Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.

(313): View more from Michigan

Something like a penis light saber.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol

Fav 8 2701 1041
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(937): View more from Ohio

he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me

Fav 24 2039 2888
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(503): View more from Oregon

She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

Fav 47 9147 2530
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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

Fav 14 2897 1363
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(214): View more from Texas

Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis

Fav 4 1739 1094
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(772): View more from Florida

Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

Fav 9 2554 905
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(214): View more from Texas

You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.

Fav 1 1743 625
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.

Fav 3 531 399
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