White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
