Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is