"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
