the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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