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Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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