Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
