a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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