boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
