I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's rum buckets o'clock
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
