i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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