p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
