if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Shame - the story of my life.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
