guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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