And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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