i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
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