Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
