Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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