idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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